if i could go back to speak to the girl i was, as the woman i am, i don't know what i would say to her. if i would hold her hand. kiss her forehead. or sing her songs of who she would become. would i pray her to sleep? or dance her awake? tell her the reason for the sun at dawn, when no one can see it anyway? sit behind her on the school bus to whisper assurance down her spine. if i could go back, would i split her open and lift the doubt from her belly. wipe "sorry" from her mouth. cut the worry from her lungs, burn the guilt off her shoulders, rub the shame from her palms, or scrub the fear from her wings. if i could go back, would i tell her to make her heart a fortress of leaves and brass, to make it it harder to get in than it is to get out. would i tell her that planting your feet in one direction is as impractical as only knowing one way home? if i could go back, would i cry at what was? would she laugh at what was to come?
would she let me go...
could i leave her there?
would she ask me where i've been...
or where we're headed?
Sasha, I love this piece!
ReplyDeleteI often wish I could go back and speak to the girl I once was, however I would not want to go back to the circumstances I was in at that time. All we can do is to appreciate what we've learned, and trust that the mistakes we made were to mold us into who we are today.
your writing is absolutely amazing. I wish I had half the talent that you do!
ReplyDeletePoetry in motion.
ReplyDeleteYou captured in these few words what many people feel. At some point we do remove or reconcile all our childhood fears, pains, uncertainties, and guilts, but it would be wonderful if we had not had to carry all that doubt in the first place. Unfortunately, the best we can do is forgive ourselves and learn from our past.
Keep writing and that child will answer you and tell you where you are heading.